Things I Said in My 20s That Now Give Me the Ick
I was not always the person who talks about finances, budgeting, and debt payoff strategies for a living. There was a whole era of my life where I said and did some truly unhinged things about money.
And I mean unhinged. I had student loans on autopilot, minimum payments only, no plan beyond that. I owed my mom about $6,000 and treated it like a debt that didn’t really count, just because it was family. And I’d still dig into my own savings to shop at TJ Maxx, because a good deal on a candle felt like a treat I’d earned.
Underneath all of it was the same wish: I wanted the freedom of being an adult without the financial responsibility that comes with it. That wish is where these next lines came from.
After paying off six figures of consumer debt with Joe, I cringe a little looking back. Okay, a lot.
These are the greatest hits.
“Consumer debt is just part of being an adult.”
I said this with so much confidence. It felt mature, even, like I had accepted some universal truth about how life works. What I had actually accepted was a story that kept me from ever questioning whether it had to be true for me.
How I think of it now: consumer debt is a choice, not a rite of passage. Most of the genuinely wealthy people I know carry little to none of it. If they do use credit cards, they pay them off in full every month.
“Everyone has at least a $500 car payment.”
Statistically, a lot of people do. But I used “everyone” the way people use it when they want permission to stop thinking. The second I stopped asking what everyone else was doing and started asking what I wanted my life to look like, everything shifted.
How I think of it now: “everyone” isn’t a financial strategy. What matters is what I can actually afford and what I’d rather my money be doing instead. Joe and I drove paid-off, reliable older cars (Subarus, baby!) for years. Now we save up and pay cash for vehicles, or put down a large down payment and pay off the rest within six months to a year.
“I’ll figure it out when I make more money.”
More money came. I spent more money. TJ Maxx, Nordstrom Rack, Target. I was in those places constantly. My shoe collection was incredible. My financial situation was still a mess. Funny how that works. Income going up does not automatically fix the habits that created the problem. I had to actually deal with those first.
How I think of it now: more income without a plan just buys a nicer version of the same mess. More money was never going to fix my spending habits, my disorganization, or my emotional baggage around money. Untangling those took trial and error, and a lot of deeper, more honest work.
“I’ll start saving for retirement in my 30s.”
I did start in my 30s, actually. But not because of a plan. It was because I finally got sick enough of the situation to do something about it. The version of me who said this had no idea how much time she was burning through.
How I think of it now: there’s no magic age. The best time to start was the day I said this line. The second best time was the day I actually did. I understand compound interest now, and I can see exactly how much opportunity I lost by waiting even five to six years.
“At least it’s not as bad as [friend’s debt].”
I kept a mental leaderboard of everyone around me who had more debt than I did so I could feel okay about my own. It was a masterclass in using someone else’s situation to avoid looking at mine.
How I think of it now: someone else’s debt has nothing to do with mine. Comparison never paid off a single dollar of it. That’s their financial journey, not mine, and staying in my own lane is what let me actually focus. The real change started once I stopped watching everyone else and started setting my own goals.
“As long as nothing bounces or gets declined, I’m fine.”
This was my entire financial strategy for an embarrassing stretch of time. Bouncing was the floor, not the goal. Surviving the month is not the same as building a life. It also meant I’d handed the wheel to my money and was just along for the ride.
How I think of it now: not overdrafting is the bare minimum, not a win. I want progress, not just survival. These days, I know what’s in my checking account before I ever swipe my debit card.
“Money stuff stresses me out, so I just don’t think about it.”
The stress did not go away because I stopped looking. It just lived in the background of everything, every dinner out, every unexpected bill, every time someone mentioned retirement. Avoidance was not a break from the anxiety. It was the anxiety.
How I think of it now: looking at the numbers is what actually quiets the stress. Avoidance never once made me feel better, it just delayed the feeling. Getting honest and actually looking at the numbers is what handed the power back to me.
Forsyth Park located in Savannah, GA. Joe and I flew across the country and spent a couple of days in June 2026 exploring a bunch of parks and squares. We also got to see the Savannah Bananas play at their home ballpark. We paid for the entire trip with cash. This kind of trip wouldn’t be possible back when I believed all those unhinged things about money.
The thing about all of these lines is that I believed them completely. They weren’t lies I told myself on purpose. They were just the water I was swimming in, right alongside the student loans on autopilot, the money I owed my mom and didn’t take seriously, and the TJ Maxx runs I funded out of my own savings. Wanting the freedom of adulthood without the responsibility of it wasn’t a character flaw. It was just a story I hadn’t questioned yet, and once I pulled on it, the whole thing unraveled.
Dealing with the truth, instead of avoiding it, is what put the power back in my hands. That’s the part nobody tells you: the relief comes from facing it, not from figuring it all out at once.
➡️ If one of these hit a little too close, don’t rush past it. Which line are you telling yourself right now? Sit with it for a minute. Ask what it’s letting you avoid, a hard number, a hard conversation, a decision you’ve been putting off. You don’t need to fix it today. You just need to notice it. That’s the exact place I started.
Hi! I’m Jeannette and I help professionals ditch debt without the overwhelm and build wealth without the stress.
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Friendly reminder: The information shared is for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for financial, legal, tax, or mental health advice. Please consult a qualified professional for guidance specific to your situation.
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