How to Set Boundaries with Friends and Family for Holiday Spending

Let me paint a picture for you… 

You’ve sat down, figured out your goals for paying off your debt, and been super consistent with creating a budget each month.  

You’re making progress and feeling great about what you’re accomplishing. 

However, December just rolled up and you’re starting to add up all the expenses for the month. 

You put all of your holiday expenses last year on a credit card (or two or three…). 

It took you months to pay off those expenses. 

Since then, you’ve changed your money habits and don’t want to be paying off the holidays with 20+% interest. 

Soooooooo, you make the hard decision…

You are going to limit your holiday spending and pay cash for everything this year.

You are going to stick with your financial goals and keep moving forward with your awesome progress. 

First of all, high five for sticking with your goals. It is easy to slip up during the holidays with so many things going on.

Gifts, ugly sweater parties, work parties, The Nutcracker, family gatherings, NYE party, the list goes on and on…

Trust me: once the holiday sparkle wears off, you’ll just regret it in January.

Stick to your plan and create boundaries this holiday season. You’ll need to make some hard decisions and decide what you’re going to cut out this year. Remember this is temporary and you're doing this to create financial freedom down the road. This is not going to be easy and you’ll probably have to have some hard conversations with friends and family. 

My advice for these conversations: 

1. Be honest. Tell people you have some great financial goals that you’re trying to achieve. 

2. Don’t beat around the bush. Be forward and clear about your boundaries.

3. Suggest an alternative idea. Have another idea within your budget. 

   

Below are some ideas and suggestions to set help set boundaries with loved ones:

Omitting gifts with friends and extended family:

• “I’m trying to make some wise decisions with my money. I’ve decided to only give gifts to people within my immediate family. I would still love to spend time with you over the holidays. Can we find a low-cost activity to do and grab brunch/lunch/dinner?"

Cutting costs with gifts for family:

• “We’re trying to save money this December, but we know how important gifts are to our family. Instead of giving gifts to everyone in our extended family, can we do a fun White Elephant/Yankee Swap gift exchange instead?”

Not being able to make it home:

• “I have made some goals with my finances and have decided that I won’t be making the trip home this year for Christmas. If I stick with my plan, I will have all of my student loans and credit cards paid off by June. If I’m able to meet this goal, I will make it a priority to set money aside to try to come home for Christmas next year. Let’s make sure to plan a Zoom call on Christmas Eve or Christmas. Don’t worry about me, I won’t be alone for the holiday. My friends have already invited me over for Christmas dinner.”

Again, this is all temporary. You’re making these hard decisions to break the cycle of never getting ahead. 

Imagine yourself one or two years from now when you’re debt free. 

How does it feel? What does it look like? 

Are you able to spoil your extended family?

Are you able to donate to charities? 

Are you able to anonymously give a single parent and their children a wonderful Christmas? 

How would all that feel? 

Keep that feeling in your back pocket in the upcoming weeks. 

Your future self will be so glad that you made hard decisions this December. 💚

➡ Interested in more info about setting boundaries??? I suggest checking out Nedra Glover Tawwab. She is a dynamite therapist who has written incredible books. She is also very active on Instagram where she shares all the things about boundaries.

Check out her website for more info: https://www.nedratawwab.com/